Next, they need a captivating yet succinct description:
However, there are some who may not have the space, or the desire, for cow bones, regardless of how big an heavy unique they are. No matter how they add to the decor of one's living space. No matter how awesome of a weapon a cow's femur would make, not to mention how cool the police report would look on The Smoking Gun:
For those not looking to turn cow femurs into weapons, but are more interested in home decor, today's trends are pointing toward something daintier than the foreleg of a bovine. Something that isn't confined to one or two corners of the living room or boudoir, but something that can be scattered about the room, much like those tasseled velvet throw pillows that have tiny mirrors and beads sewn on them. More discriminating or space savvy individuals may prefer:
That's right. Cow teeth. Think about it. Poker night at your house? Use the cow teeth for poker chips. Bingo, anyone? Your child unexpectedly lost a tooth and you don't have a dollar? Forget an IOU! Put a cow tooth under your child's pillow instead of money. Tell them the recession hit the tooth fairy hard, and she's been reduced to trading for teeth instead of paying for them. Much like the barter system of yore. The fact that they are used cow teeth will make your story that much more believable. You're only limited by your imagination. But, as I'm sure I don't have to tell you, a picture is worth a thousand words:
But whatever you do, don't decide that you need cow teeth RIGHT AWAY, and bid on the first set that you see on ebay. Because if you do, you may end up buying this:
Now here is an individual who has just plain given up on writing a scintillating description meant to intrigue or captivate. Simply put, it lacks that certain je ne sais quoi that separates the powerseller from the "newbie". It's just a sad, mispelled, little line about some broken cow teeth.
So, the lesson here is....IF YOUR COW DIES, YOU CAN SELL IT'S BONES ON EBAY FOR MONEY! It's along the same lines of "When life hands you lemons" only with "a dead cow" in place of "lemons".