When I was 6, I desperately wanted a shetland pony, because it would be small enough to keep in the yard and when it got cold outside Mom would probably let it come in the trailer because she sometimes let the stray cat we fed come inside and really, was a shetland pony much bigger than a dog?
I'd only seen pictures but I was pretty sure it would fit nicely on the rag rug in the kitchen, all curled up. I would name it Tiffany and we could have our pictures taken together at Easter. I would ride her to school and she could eat grass while she waited for me and during recess when the other girls all played on the swings together, Tiffany and I would play tag, or hide and seek. Screw those a-hole girls who wouldn't play with me, I would have Tiffany. At the end of the day when the other kids were getting onto the buses to go home, I would ride Tiffany home and tell her about my day. It would be awesome.
Here's a picture of Tiffany and me:
Ok, not really, but that's how we looked in my imagination. Only Tiffany would have bows in her mane and I would braid her tail with ribbons and I would be dressed as Tinkerbell. Because you can't ride a horse in a long princess dress, everybody knows that. And plus? I could fly. That's right. I had magic fairy dust and I could fly, and all the other mean girls totally were jealous because I had a pony and I could fly and they begged me to let them ride Tiffany and one time I let that bitch Cari Nessler ride her but ha! Tiffany bit Cari on the leg and then threw her off because she was a one-girl pony, and I was the only girl at Neil A. Armstrong-Oakview Grade School who could ride Tiffany.
Then all the girls wanted to be my friend but I knew it was only because of Tiffany, but then one day Tiffany got strep throat and she had to stay in bed (because I now had a bunk bed and Tiffany slept on the lower bunk but I got the top bunk) and Claudia and Nancy still wanted to play with me and that's how I knew they were the only nice girls in my class and so we played ring-around-the-rosy and tag and then Claudia let me braid her hair with ribbons and Nancy asked me to be her best friend but then Claudia said no, she's my best friend and before they could start fighting over me I said it's ok, I'm both of your best friends and even though that was completely improper grammar they totally knew what I meant.
Then when I got off the bus that day my parents were waiting for me along with Tiffany, because the antibiotics had worked and she was feeling much better. Then Mom told me that she was pregnant with twins and they were both girls so I would get to be an older sister and Dad said that he'd been digging a hole and found a pirate's treasure so he'd bought us a mansion on Grandview Drive that had a basement and an attic and stairs and a dining room plus a swimming pool and we were going to move in today and I would get my own bathroom. Oh, and I had an older brother too, his name was Greg and he always teased me and he taught me how to fight and all of his guy friends thought I was cute.
Plus? I was psychic.