Gameboard phrases you will probably never hear in real life. And yes, I meant to split my infinitive.

My kids are playing Life, and that got me thinking. And what I thought was this, there are only a few times in your life you will hear someone ask you, "How do you want your $10,000?" Unless you're robbing a bank.

1. Ha! You have to go to jail because you're standing on the corner. And you don't get $200.

That just how it goes down in the 'hood.

2. Ok, so there are two ways you can get out of jail. Either pick a card or roll a double.

Bitch eyes blue, gonna kill my landlord.

3. You just had twins, lucky for you you're a rock star.

4. Hey, you're standing on my lawn! You owe me $500!

5. Hey, you're on my lawn and I just planted a tree there. Now you owe me $1000.

6. Colonel Mustard in the library with the candlestick.

7. Ok, do you want the Georgian mansion for $3,500,000 or the Colonial for $295,000?

8. Looks like I'm going to visit Gramma Nut in her peanut brittle house.

BUT I'M ALLERGIC!!!

9. I'm tired, can we finish Life in the morning?