10 common phrases used in our house

I'm in the middle of writing a gigantic post, because I got not one, but TWO blogger awards, and I need to pass them on. So what if they were the same award, from different people?

That just means I rock all that much more, amiright?

Oh, one more thing. This picture goes out to Shirley.

Just keep your hands to yourself and we'll all have a fine time.

*Update - I just got another award! Being this spectacular comes with it's own set of curses, people.

There will be more than 10 phrases, because my son has Anxiety Disorder/OCD/Sensory Integration Disorder/ADHD/Disruptive Behavior and also repeats phrases/questions numerous f*cking times in any given time period. So, yeah. Oh, and the kids are in bold. And yes, I'm aware that the formatting is messed up. And I'm obsessive, so I've spent more time trying to line up the word "chicken" than I've spent writing this whole post. Sometimes we just have to  Let. Things. Go.

#1. Is it my birthday yet?
   No. Not for another month.
   Oh, ok. (five minutes pass).....
   Is it my birthday tomorrow?
   No. It's your birthday in THIRTY DAYS.
   Oh, ok. (five minutes pass).....How many minutes are in thirty days?
   
#2. Did you know that a velociraptor was only as big as a chicken? 
    Wow, really?
    Yep. And it didn't even live in the Jurassic Period, it lived in the Cretaceous Period!
    That's crazy!
    I know, right?
   
#3. WHO KEEPS POOPING IN THE BROKEN TOILET??!!!

#4. I decided I'm going to be a vegetarian. But I don't like yogurt. Or beans. Or vegetable lasagna.  Or Tofu. Can I just eat grilled cheese and cucumbers?

#5. You'll have to walk to school today, I need to deal with your brother and I don.....
    OH MY GOSH!!! I HATE YOU!!! YOU'RE RUINING MY LIIIIFFEE!!!!
    What the EFF?? Get your butt out that door and get to school!
    I HATE YOU!!!!!
    Oh yeah? WELL, I HATE YOU TOO!!!

6#. WHO THE F*CK ATE ALL THE THIN MINTS??!!!!

#7. J? Can I hold your guinea pig?
    No.
    Please?
    No.
    PLEASE???
    NO!!!!
    PLEEEEEEEZZZZZEEEEE?????!!!!!!
    NOOOOOOO!!!!! SHUTUP SHUTUP SHUTUP!!!!!!
   (five minutes pass).....J? Can I hold your guinea pig?
  
#8. Mom??? Have you given Z his medication?!!
    Yes!
    Well, IT'S NOT WORKING!!!

#9. J? Did you take your medication?
    Yes.
    You lie. Take it right now.
    Sorry.

#10. Is it my birthday yet?

 
And then I found this on the stairs. These are the dinosaurs from my son's birthday cake last year:

I am totally gonna bite your ass. Totally.