Dear Women, I have one request. Please...PLEASE. Be there for one another.

Tonight, my heart is very heavy. I discovered that many of my neighbors, some of whom I have known for 15 years, have been gossiping about me at the monthly neighborhood coffees, which I don't attend. I've been accused of being a bad parent, not being home enough, not doing enough activities with my kids, and various other offenses. Apparently this gossip/back-stabbing has been going on for 2 years, without my knowledge. They may be too cowardly to say anything to my face, but I'm putting this out here. A few of them follow this page.


Do these women know how many times we've woken up at 5am so we could drive 3 hours to Chicago, just to spend 15 minutes at Ira's grave? Because any more than that is too much for Zach. Do they know how many nights I've lain awake at night, crying because my children lost their father before his time, and because my marriage ended so horribly? Do they realize that this Sunday is Father's Day, but my children have no father to give gifts to? Are they able to comprehend that my children will NEVER view Father's Day, Christmas Day, Superbowl Sunday, November 21st (his birthday), and April 17th (his death) without tasting the bitterness of their father's passing?

I'm shocked, saddened, disheartened, and angry. I'm a single mom doing my best to support my family. ALONE. After 11 years of living with an abusive addict/alcoholic, 3 rounds of substance abuse treatment for him, and,  I realized things weren't going to change. I understood that my children were more important than my marriage, and I filed for divorce, disolving an 18 year relationship in the process. In 2011, only 3 months after the divorce became final, my children unexpectedly lost their father. I found Ira that day, and after 4 hours of talking to the police and the coroner, I had to drive home that night with his elderly cat on my lap, and try to figure out a way to tell my children that their father was gone forever. Every day since then has been a struggle for all of us.

This judgemental gossipping is uncalled for, and I'm wondering when these women plan on graduating from Jr. High. If they feel that I'm working too much and not home enough, why doesn't anyone offer to help me with my load? As women, we have enough stones in our path. We should support each other, not tear each other down.

2 comments:

  1. AWFUL. I am so sorry you have to spend even a moment of consideration on this nonsense. Sending strength.

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  2. Oh my. I am a facebook follower of all your awesome shininess, but I had no idea of the personal stuff going on behind the scenes. I hate to hear of the nasty gossipy BS going on at the "coffee tawks". Women often go to dark places when they get together and it's always the one who didn't come who takes the brunt of the bitch-fest. If I'm honest, I've been one of those women too even though I hate those that do it. I'm so sorry you're going through this. My best friend of 3+ years just threw me under the bus here in our small town. It sucks hardcore. HUGS to you and your kiddos. The only thing I can say is, aren't you glad you know now and not 15 MORE years from now? It doesn't take away the sting, but it's true. Karma is a bitch and she knows their names. ;)

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