Yesterday, I drove my daughter to camp. It's a 6 day camp, and they aren't allowed cell-phones, ipods, or any other means of electronic communication.
So for the next 6 days, it's just me and the boy. This is what our first day alone sounded like:
6:43am - MOOOOMMMM!!! Waaakkke upppppp!!!!!!
6:44am - Can we have pancakes for dinner?
6:59am - Can we have pancakes for dinner?
7:16am - Can we have pancakes for dinner??
8:51am - Can we have pancakes for dinner????
9:32am - Mom? MOM! When are you going to wake up? Guess what?? I found an experiment online...for ice cream!!! It called for, um....milk....and vanilla...and, um...a cup of sugar...and some, um...cocoa powder...and salt.
9:33am - Can we have pancakes for dinner?
9: 54am - I come downstairs. The kitchen floor is covered in a fine dusting of sugar, cocoa powder, and salt. Also? There's a huge puddle of milk by the garbage can.
9:55am - I cry a little.
9:56am - I set my alarm for 6am tomorrow morning
10:59am - Z informs me that the biggest decision he will ever make is finding the right woman to be his wife.
11:00am - I totally fall in love with my son, all over again.
11:06am - Z tells me that his future wife should: like food, not be "too large", have a good sense of humor, be fit but "not stronger than me", kind, smart but "not geeky smart, 'cause then she'll say, "there's no time for love!!!", love to snuggle, love to cuddle, like video games, like to wrestle, and be kind. Not once does he say, "she should be pretty/beautiful/attractive."
11:07am - Z tells me that "a person can look nice on the outside, but still be ugly on the inside."
11:08am - I consider my job as a parent well done.
11:59am - Can we have pancakes for dinner????
1:47pm - He begins to assemble the ingredients needed for pancakes. Three hours before dinnertime.
5:12pm - Guess how high I can pull my lip up over my nose!
5:13pm - Mom, you weren't looking! Watch me pull my lip over my nose! I saw a show with a man who could pull his lip ALL THE WAY OVER HIS NOSE!!!!
5:40pm - Mom, look! I can touch the top of my head with my foot! Watch!
5:41pm - Wait, that wasn't right. Look now!
5:43pm - Ok, now I'm ready. Watch!!!
6:01pm - Look how fast I can run from the stove to the couch! No, you're NOT LOOKING! Look!
6:05pm - Mom? Are the pancakes ready yet? Can I flip them? That's my superpower, you know. Flipping pancakes.
6:06pm - Is it time to flip the pancakes yet?
6:08pm - Yaaay! Time to flip the pancakes!!!!!
6:14pm - Mom! Look!!! I made a pancake taco!
7:32pm - Mom! I can kiss my own toe! Wanna see how flexible I am? Watch, I can kiss my own toe!!!!
8:03pm - I come to the realization that this family is supposed to be made up of THREE people, one of whom is having a fine time at camp while the other two-thirds are struggling. Struggling with patience and fine motor skills.
8:41pm - Mom! I'm going to wrestle with the couch pillows! Is that ok?
9:04pm - I have to poop. Will you come upstairs with me? I'm not scared, you know. I just like company while I poop.
This post is dedicated to all the single mommas out there. Taking it as it comes, rolling with the changes, thinking fast, acting faster, and never letting that bitch called life get you down.