6 or 7 reasons Samantha wins at life, while Jeannie is just a sad, fake ponytail wearing, subservient wannabe

Which show was better, Bewitched or I Dream of Jeannie?

Oh, get out of your ivory tower and stop acting like you haven't had lengthy discussions about this very topic. Sure, you were probably stoned, but even so.

It's still relevant.

I fall into the "Samantha" camp, and here's why:

1. Samantha only had to discreetly twitch her nose and voila! Larry Tate was promoting Darrin and completely forgetting the fact that he had met William Shakespeare in the Stephen's living room that evening. Jeannie had to cross her arms, close her eyes and bob her head. Way too much work, especially if your arms are tired.

2. Between her nauseatingly pink harem costume (which still managed to cover her bellybutton at all times, in accordance with NBC censors requirements), her fake ponytail and the way she called Tony "Master", Jeannie was way too conspicuous. Therefore she was always homebound, and how much fun can you have in a house by yourself?

3. Samantha got to sleep in a bed. Know where Jeannie had to sleep? In a bottle. Every night. Also? Whenever company came over, Tony was all, get your ass in the bottle, bitch. And when she was "bad"? She got the bottle. It was like her timeout place or something. What self-respecting woman allows herself to be sent to timeout? Jeannie, that's who.

4. Yes, Darrin could be a bossy asshat at times, telling Samantha she couldn't use her magic, but I don't ever recall hearing Samantha calling her husband "Master". If I were a genie, I'd make it a rule that I could refuse to call any man master. The only exception to this would be if his last name was "Bates". Because that would never get old.

5. Samantha's quirky family was always dropping in unexpectedly. She had a smooth, urbane father and a snarky, bitchy mom (who preferred to say they had an "informal marriage". Now, how cool is that?). Also? Who could forget ditzy Aunt Clara, crazy cousin Serena, goofy Uncle Arthur, quirky Aunts Enchantra and Hagatha or Dr. Bombay? Samantha had a family, she had a history. Tony just picked Jeannie up on the beach, and brought her home. A one night stand gone horribly wrong.

6. Samantha had a wardrobe, for pete's sake. She had pajamas, dresses, capris and evening gowns. What did Jeannie have? The same tired harem costume. Day in. Day out. Oh, sure. Sometimes she got to dress in what I call "people clothes", but 98% of the time she was in her t&a outfit. Nothing like being objectified to make you feel like a piece-of-trash Jeannie that got picked up on a beach one night and has to call her owner "Master". No wonder she never went back to school for her MBA.  It's called self-esteem, Jeannie. Get some.

7. Eh. This post was originally called "10 reasons...." but I'm tired of this post so you only get 6. 7 if you count this one. Which you should cuz it's still awesome.