Shit I find in/near/outside my house:
|We like to mock death with sidewalk chalk. You gotta problem with that?|
|This is how my son sleeps. Every night. His sister is in the green "hammock."|
|This is my fabulous son's 3rd favorite toy.|
|This is his 2nd favorite toy....aannnndd......|
|He is Totally. A. Rockstar. TOTALLY.|
My teenage daughter got really mad when I
At which time, she was promptly sent to her room. Which is when her brother yelled at me, "DADDY WAS A MUCH BETTER PARENT THAN YOU!!!"
Naturally, that shit got him sent to his room, because? Total bullshit, that is.
Then my daughter stomped downstairs, announcing, "HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED THAT I SAY 'I HATE YOU' MORE THAN I SAY 'I LOVE YOU'?????"
Ooooohhhh......time to man up for the fight to end all fights.....
No, I'm just kidding. Actually, I sent her to her room (again), flipped her the double bird, and split a beer with my good friend, "Lady Massachusetts", as we reveled in my vingage jewelry collection.