Friday night, my 14-year-old daughter had 2 friends spend the night, and they were watching "Jersey Shore" reruns on Netflix. All of a sudden, the camera cut to an unopened condom on the bar floor. Here is the conversation that followed:
Friend #1: That's a condom!
Me: How do you KNOW THAT??? You're only 13!!
Friend #1: _____ brought one to school last year and showed it to everyone...
Me: OMG WHAT KIND OF SCHOOL DO YOU GO TO???
Friend #1: He brought one to school in the 4th grade too. It's a pretty bad school.
Then, from the dining room, where my 10-year-old autistic son (child #2) is on the computer.....
Child #2: Oh, condoms? For some weird reason, THEY ARE ALL OVER MY PLAYGROUND! ALL OVER THE PLACE!
Me: *choking* WHAAAT???
Child #2: Yep. They look like balloons! And they're kind of white. THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!!!
Me: You don't...you don't...PICK THEM UP, DO YOU??
Child #2: No. I asked, and somebody told me they're for marriage.
Me: YEP. TOTALLY! THEY ARE TOTALLY FOR MARRIAGE.