Susan And I Are Going To Be Rich Because Sgt. Brown Is Sending Us $8,000,000!!!! Or, My Adventure With Susan, Part II.

Ok, so hopefully all of you have already read this . If you haven't, go ahead. No, that's ok, we'll wait. Just hurry it up. *taps foot impatiently while looking at wristwatch*

Ok, all caught up? Good. So here's the latest installment of what I like to call "My email exchange with the person who's trying to scam me out of $2,000 but I'm scamming them out of hope, time and the notion that they are dealing with a complete imbecile who is more than willing to send $2,000 to a complete stranger who doesn't speak English but pretends to and can somehow swim the English Channel from Scotland to London, England."

Or, "Me n Susan; The Story of a Friendship".

hootowl20006s@aol.com
mailto:%20toywjujub@yahoo.com
date Mon, Feb 14, 2011 at 4:26 AM
subject Re: *****Emergency Help Needed***** Susan MacKenzie
mailed-by aol.com

How are you doing Today and Happy Love Day, i'm still waiting for your reply...Please
_______________________________________________________
Oh, that's sweet, but apparently she didn't get the email saying that my brother had just died. I'd better tell her again because if I know Susan, she'd feel TERRIBLE mentioning money at a time like this.

Y Shinythings <yowza@yahoo.com>
tohootowl20006s@aol.com
date Mon, Feb 14, 2011 at 12:39 PM
subject Re: *****Emergency Help Needed***** Susan MacKenzie
mailed-by gmail.com

Oh Dearest Susan!!!
Did you not get my most recent email? My brother who got hit by the large delivery truck DIED!!! I'm so sad! I need your advice on what I should do with his body. If I have him cremated into ashes it will cost $500, and I would be able to still send you $2,000. If I bury him it will cost me $3,000 and I won't have any money to send you! This decision would be so much easier if he hadn't been in that house fire when we were little. He was always SO AFRAID of fire!

Please tell me what I should do so I know if I should bury him or cremate him and send you the leftover $2,000????

Thank you so much my dearest friend Susan!!!
Von
_______________________________________________________
There. Now she can offer her condolences and leave me to grieve my imaginary sibling in peace.

hootowl20006s@aol.com
mail to: yowza@yahoo.com
date Tue, Feb 15, 2011 at 5:45 AM
subject Re: *****Emergency Help Needed***** Susan MacKenzie
mailed-by aol.com

Oh Vone , I'm very sorry this happen to your brother but you get can still Help me out with some money Please...if you can do that for me i will be Very Happen Vone.
_______________________________________________________
Or maybe not. Well, I definitely want Susan to be Very Happen. Nothing would make me happener.

Y Shinythings <yowza@yahoo.com>
tohootowl20006s@aol.com
date Tue, Feb 15, 2011 at 9:50 PM
subject Re: *****Emergency Help Needed***** Susan MacKenzie
mailed-by gmail.com
hide details 9:50 PM (21 hours ago)

Well, how much do you need?
_______________________________________________________
It's always best to be specific when discussing money. It avoids confusion later.

hootowl20006s@aol.com
mailto:toyowza@gmail.com
date Wed, Feb 16, 2011 at 3:50 AM
subject Re: *****Emergency Help Needed***** Susan MacKenzie
mailed-by aol.com

well.....
_______________________________________________________
Oh, now she's just being coy. I hate that.

hootowl20006s@aol.com
mail to: yowza@yahoo.com
date Wed, Feb 16, 2011 at 6:30 AM
subject Re: *****Emergency Help Needed***** Susan MacKenzie
mailed-by aol.com

...............
_______________________________________________________
And impatient. Doesn't she realize I'm GRIEVING?


Y Shinythings <yowza@yahoo.com>
mail to: tohootowl20006s@aol.com
date Wed, Feb 16, 2011 at 2:24 PM
subject Re: *****Emergency Help Needed***** Susan MacKenzie
mailed-by gmail.com

Well, ok but I had to go ahead and bury my brother when I didn't hear back from you. It cost almost $3,000, can you believe that??? That rat-bastard took up my whole bonus that I got from my job!!! So right now, all I have in my checking account to live on for the next 2 weeks is $47.83. Is that enough??

I'm all set up to donate a kidney next week, so I could sent you my kidney money when I get it. It's supposed to be around $500. Let me know which you need more, the $47.83 tomorrow or the kidney money ($500) next week.

Do you have enough food to eat? I hope nobody is trying to get sexy with you. You just tell them that you are a good girl and you don't want to get sexy. I've heard about those Scottish men, you have to watch out.

Stay safe!
Yolanda
_______________________________________________________
If she were smart she'd take the $47.83. I might even send it to her. This is the most fun I've had in a long time. It's TOTALLY been worth $47.83.

hootowl20006s@aol.com
to yowza@yahoo.com
date Wed, Feb 16, 2011 at 2:57 PM
subject Re: *****Emergency Help Needed***** Susan MacKenzie
mailed-by aol.com

Hello,
        thanks for your concern, please all i just want from you is to me loan me $2000 USD for me to return home and once am back i will refund the money back to you immediately..

Thank you and i hope to hear from you soon
_______________________________________________________
Well! Somebody's blood sugar is low.

Y Shinythings <yowza@yahoo.com>
tohootowl20006s@aol.com
date Wed, Feb 16, 2011 at 3:01 PM
subject Re: *****Emergency Help Needed***** Susan MacKenzie
mailed-by gmail.com

Sorry Susan, when I read my email I saw I'd left a zero off. I'm getting $5,000 for my kidney, NOT $500. I'd be giving it away at that price, right? Hehe. So I will have TONS of money after the operation, no need to worry.

So, do you need the $47.83 tomorrow or do you want to just wait for what I call "The Big Payout"?

I'd been saving the kidney for my stupid brother because he had cirrosis of the liver because in addition to being a mentally retarded, freaky bird-sex-watching klepto, he was also a raging alcoholic. Guess he won't need my liver now, right? Lol.

Stay pure,
Vonnie
_______________________________________________________
I think it was very generous of me to offer even more than she originally asked for. I'm a good friend, if I do say so myself.

Y Shinythings <yowza@yahoo.com>
tohootowl20006s@aol.com
date Wed, Feb 16, 2011 at 3:06 PM
subject Re: *****Emergency Help Needed***** Susan MacKenzie
mailed-by gmail.com

I just got your email about the $2,000 while I was emailing you. Do you only need $2,000 or would more help? I'm getting $5,000 deposited into my checking account tonight.

I guess these liver guys pay before you donate your liver. Weird but I'm not going to refuse it.

Just let me know how much you need after I donate my kidneys.

Love
Vone
_______________________________________________________
It is kidneys that get messed up when you drink too much, right? Or is it the liver? I'm pretty sure you can donate your liver, I saw an infomercial about it I think. I forget.

hootowl20006s@aol.com
toyowza@yahoo.com
date Wed, Feb 16, 2011 at 3:10 PM
subject Re: *****Emergency Help Needed***** Susan MacKenzie
mailed-by aol.com

Alright...but please i want you to try your possible best to look for the $2000 USD so that i can come back home once am back home i will refund the money back to you and i will even add addition $500 USD to the money that will just be for showing appreciation for help rendered..So please do get back to me as soon as possible
_______________________________________________________
I'm getting an impatient vibe from Susan's email. I'm starting to find her extremely ungrateful, especially after the week I've had, with my brother dying, having to foot the funeral bill and everything. You'd think she'd be a little happener that a stranger wants to help her.

hootowl20006s@aol.com
toyowza@yahoo.com
date Wed, Feb 16, 2011 at 3:13 PM
subject Re: *****Emergency Help Needed***** Susan MacKenzie
mailed-by aol.com

Yes $2000 USD will definitely be enough. so please go ahead and send it.
_______________________________________________________
Well, that's a little bit more like it.

Y Shinythings <yowza@yahoo.com>
tohootowl20006s@aol.com
date Wed, Feb 16, 2011 at 6:44 PM
subject Re: *****Emergency Help Needed***** Susan MacKenzie
mailed-by gmail.com

Oh. My. Goodness Susan! You won't BELIEVE what just happened!! I got home from work and was sitting down to the computer to send you the money with that moneygram thingie, when I saw that I had received what can only be described as a MIRACULOUS EMAIL. It looks like God's been at work in our lives again girl! I just got an email from Sgt. Brown telling me HE'S GIVING ME $8M USD!!!

Can you believe our luck!!! I have to send him the $2,000 I had planned on sending you, but OMG he's going to send me $8,000,000!!! That's eight MILLION DOLLARS, SUSAN!!! Forget about two thousand dollars! I can send you two MILLION dollars!!! Oh, it's REALLY important that you not tell anyone about this, okay? It's our little secret, and besides, Sgt. Brown asked me to keep it a secret so he's safe. It sounds really dangerous over there, doesn't it??

I tell you Susan, this week has been a complete emotional rollercoster. I meet you over the internet, get a bonus at work and came so close to sending it to you, but then my brother got hit by that delivery truck and died. Then I had to use that money to bury him and sign up to donate my liver so I could get more money (good thing I have two!) and once again almost sent that money and NOW THIS!!! You are my lucky charm Susan!!! We're going to be best friends forever, right??

I'll email you THE MINUTE I get the $8,000,000, so you can be ready for your $2,000,000!!!

Woohooo!!!!!
Vonne

_______________________________________________________
This should make Susan VERY happen. Very happen indeed.

Y Shinythings <yowza@yahoo.com>
tohootowl20006s@aol.com
dateWed, Feb 16, 2011 at 8:21 PM
subjectRe: *****Emergency Help Needed***** Susan MacKenzie
mailed-bygmail.com
hide details 8:21 PM (11 minutes ago)

Susan,
 You aren't going to believe this, I can hardly believe it myself! I was telling my mom on the phone about the $8,000,000 and she told me, now get ready, THAT IT'S NOT TRUE! I'm serious Susan, I'm not holding out on you. I wouldn't take $8,000,000 USD and not give you a share. My mom said don't send that guy any money. She said you were ok, though, so that's nice. I was going to send the $2,000 tonight on the computer. Are you still awake over there to go get it? I forget what time it is in London.

Get ready for your money, honey!!!
_______________________________________________________
So, it's been like, 14 minutes and I still haven't heard from Susan. I hope she's not out celebrating around the oil drum fire with all the other homeless peoples of London, Scotland. Given what my mother just told me, that would be very premature.

2 comments:

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