Save the kittens

Today, I received this text message:

This cat is dying. She has brain cancer. Every time you forward this picture comcast donates a quarter to help save this kitten. If this was your cat you would do anything to save it. So please forward and help save the kitten.

Along with this picture, presumably of the cancer-ridden kitten:

That cat is totally faking it.

But, just in case it's not, and just in case Comcast doesn't follow through on their promise to donate a quarter each time this text is forwarded, I went ahead and Googled "Comcast dying kitten". That's how I found this e-how article entitled, "How To Save A Dying Kitten." Italics are my own thoughts.


Step 1. Pick up the kitten and take it home. Put it in a box filled with wood shavings and scraps of wool. It may bite/scratch you. Worry about rabies later. Remember! The dying kitten comes first. They're practically extinct, you know.

Step 2. Offer it some food. It may not eat, due to it's possible imminent death. Don't take it personally.

Step 3. Call a cat doctor. Tell them it's important and you need them to save a dying stray kitten you found on the side of the road. Cost is no object.*

Step 4. Obtain a title loan at 845% interest at the nearest money store. The kitten will thank you later.**

Step 5. Make sure the box you put the kitten in has a lid. I sh*t you not.

Step 6. There is no step 6.

If I perform these steps as instructed, does the author guarantee that my kitten will not die? Because of the title, you see. I think it should be titled, "How to try to save a kitten, but it may die anyway. Because this article is a piece of sh*t that I threw together at the last minute so e-how would pay me $4.39."

*unless it is. Then the kitten is screwed.
**or not.