What I Did To Get My Son Out Of Bed This Morning

In addition to his ADHD and obsessive personality, my 7-year-old son also hates getting up in the morning. Absolutely despises it. I have tried everything to transition him from peaceful slumber to the harsh realities of it's-6am-get-up-get-dressed-and-eat-your-breakfast-and-please-stop-shooting-your-nerf-gun-at-your-sister-and-DONTYOUDARE-throw-that-tennis-ball-at-me!!!

I have tried bribing him with various breakfast treats. Eh. Threats make him hide under the covers and even his sister's offers of getting to pet her pet guinea pig have been met with refusals. I have greeted him in the morning with a cup of milk and his medication, I've sang to him, tickled him and yelled at him. Nothing worked. Until this morning, that is.

He was hiding under his covers as usual, and whining about how much he hates school (I totally agree) when I decided to stop fighting and I just climbed into his bed next to him. Now my son is a confirmed snuggler. Nothing makes him happier than cuddling. Unless he's playing the Wii while cuddling. He stopped fighting and snuggled. It was so sweet, and I thought it might make the transition to getting out of bed easier. Then, he did something.

He stuck his face in my armpit and took a big whiff. *aaahhhhhh* His eyes lit up and he said, "Mama!! Your armpits smell awesome!! *takes another big whiff*

He apparently likes the smell of Secret Flawless Renewal:

Ok, so I was a little freaked at first, because 1) my son was huffing my armpits and 2) he loved it. Have you ever seen Dennis Hopper in Blue Velvet?

Your armpits! They smell.....WONDERFUL!

Yeah. But I got over it pretty fast, because I suddenly realized Zach had handed me a bargaining chip. So I hopped out of his bunk bed and made my way towards his closet. He immediately covered his head with the blankets again, it was like watching a sea anemone retreat into itself in self-defense.

I got his school clothes together and took a deep breath. Time to see if "Operation Sniff-Your-Pitts" would work.

"Come on Zach, time to get dressed."

"NO!"

*sigh*

"If you get up and get dressed, I'll....let you sniff my armpits!"

His head slowly came out of the blankets, and his eyes widened in what can only be described as disbelief and joy.

"REALLY???"

What? Did I hear correctly? Was this going to work?

I shrugged nonchalantly, "Sure, but you have to get dressed first. Including your socks."

He got dressed pretty quickly, and sure, he tried to sneak a few sniffs but I kept my arms tight to my sides.

Finally, he was dressed. Time to pay up. Sighing to myself and taking mental notes for the blog I would surely have to write about this, I rolled my eyes and lifted my right arm. He ran over, stuck his nose in my armpit again and took a deep breath.

AAAHHHHHHHH........